Do you remember your family New Year' s goals?

It has been four months since we started this year and so far most of us might have the feeling that those New Year’s resolutions for our family lives were too many or very optimistic.

Revisiting my Positive Psychology book, I’ve been thinking that maybe the problem is not the resolution, but our approach or tools we've used to fulfill them. After posting on my blog “Family Meetings” I have proposed to my own family and friends the idea of going back and have the meetings with them again. What a great tool we have in our hands!

By doing this, we could take a break and brainstorm. This will allow to listen to each other’s opinions. We, as parents, are not the only ones “meant to” solve all the problems. We are not the only ones able to find the solutions to those problems. We have to give an opportunity to each family member to find solutions and more importantly to develop their own skills to problem solving.

A parent is more effective when he or she is able to create team work and sense of belonging within his or her family. When everybody in the family takes part in the process of making decisions, everybody is willing and eager to participate because those are also their ideas and goals being discussed.

Having “Family Meetings” periodically is a great and invaluable tool for a healthy family life. It is the perfect time and place to answer questions such as:

· Do we have a family oriented resting/quiet time?

· Do we have specific date and time for that time?

· Do we have a family meal menu to avoid improvisation?

· Does everyone have a home assignment taking into account their skills and schedule?

· Do mom and dad have time for themselves alone as a couple? On a date?

· Do we have clear Family rules ?

· Have we discussed any difficulty together as a family and the possible solutions?

All this will lead our children to learn to prevent problems and to solve them in a clear and practical way; they will learn to respect each other and will create a sense of belonging to their family.

Even more, this is a great help for us parents, because we will learn to listen, to be listened to by our children, to respectfully share our responsibilities, and more importantly, to create good memories through family traditions and all those skills that we want our children to develop and/or to have as examples.

-- Written by Luisana Bethencourt, a mother of nine and parent coach of the program "Training the Will" by the Panamerican Institute of Familial Studies (I.P.E.F. by its Spanish acronym). For more information on Luisiana and her local seminars visit her Web site, Families to Families.

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Do you remember your family New Year' s goals?